Here's another Linux Top Ten Countdown (from our Reality mixed with humor section). Some of these items appeared originally in my article for The Linux Journal (Dec 2007, Issue 164).

NUMBER 9

You can save yourself serious money, not only at the register but in years to come, avoiding paying for countless upgrades. For all of us paying the crazy food and fuel prices, this is a real easy way to save money.

As a salesman tries to convince you to pay for upgrades, simply smile and walk away. The power of Linux and a vast array of Open Source Software is available to you for free.

NUMBER 8

You will end the constant late night computer assistance calls from your “buddy.” He calls because “you’re the computer pro, right?” When he telephones you next, tell him, “Sorry, I use Linux.” You’ll never hear from him again. Even better, he will now start calling someone else with Windows8 and bug them! The pleasures with Linux laptops are endless.

NUMBER 7

You will love the look on your family’s face at the next birthday party, when Granny figures out how easy it can be to use Linux. Can you imagine everyone gathering around your laptop, as Granny cranks up the sound on Frozen Bubble and everyone starts to do the humpty-hump? Okay, maybe not. But there’s no better anecdote to help those boring family gatherings than a Linux game – and several rounds of bourbon.

NUMBER 6

You can indulge in the truth that Linux is a vital skill in nearly every country in the world. The average Linux System Administrator makes more money than a law enforcement officer on the tenth year of work and a nurse practitioner serving with your local hospital. Job security, money, and power attract people like a chocolate Sunday served with a cherry on top. Your Linux laptop is the cherry.

NUMBER 5

You will save yourself the hell of ever installing Microsoft software. Linux installation on a laptop will average about 28 minutes for a complete set up. Compare this to the installation of an upgrade of Windows8 on a WindowsXP laptop, which can take over two and half hours, and you’ll see why Linux on a laptop is not just a good idea, it is a massive time saver!

NUMBER 4

You can sleep more peacefully than most, since Linux on your laptop resolves many computer security concerns. Never again do you need to consider things like the Microsoft Windows8 Remote Code Execution Vulnerability, the threat of the GPCoder.h trojan, and the JS/Downloader-AUD malware. Okay, so not all of these reasons are funny, but they are important. Besides, you may get a good laugh when you hear what happens to the guy who didn't use Linux!

NUMBER 3

You can stop that annoying friend who is always asking to borrow your laptop to do this-and-that. The next time he comes over to ask if he can “just borrow the laptop to do some work,” simply switch the mode so that it defaults to the command line. Hand over the laptop and enjoy seeing his face as he asks what happened? As he walks away, never to be heard from again, switch back to KDE with Beryl.

NUMBER 2

You will see the raw power of Linux running on a laptop. Recently, a friend of mine connected his laptop that contained a mirror image of his company’s intranet site. As the computer team was dealing with a total outage of their intranet server, the site kept running with a simple DNS change. The boss asked him what server he was using to temporarily run the site. He simply pointed down to his laptop. Linux adds a real Nitrous Oxide injection to any laptop.

AND

The NUMBER 1 reason to put Linux on a laptop

Since Linux is now used in every country of the world, and you can start making new friends in places like Andorra, Eritrea, and Kyrgyzstan. Adding Linux on your laptop opens a whole new world of friendships and camaraderie. So, if for nothing else, install Linux on that laptop to gain access to one of the most supportive communities on earth.